In The Womb

Being pregnant with our first child, I have jumped into a whole new world of experiences and lessons. I have learned a lot about my body and the many, many issues and concerns people have bringing a baby into the world. Overall, I have been shocked by the general attitude our society has for people with disabilities.

I have an app on my phone from The Babycenter. It tells me each day what stage of development our baby is in. It also gives helpful suggestions to help prepare you emotionally and physically. On the 4th week, the topic was the first prenatal visit to the MD. It talked about the "genetic and birth defect history" that is taken and screenings. It explains that these tests inform you about “your baby’s risk for Down syndrome as well as other chromosomal problems and birth defects.” In another place it states, “Many parents-to-be worry that their developing baby may have Down syndrome or some other chromosomal abnormality. Screening tests help you assess your baby’s chances of having this kind of problem.” So the first thing I am taught is that having Down syndrome is a “problem”. Further in the article, it continues to talk about “chromosomal abnormality”. It calls them “Biological errors”. Now I am taught that having Down syndrome is an “error”.

It goes on to say, “a woman who conceives a baby with an abnormal number of chromosomes will miscarry, usually early in pregnancy.” Then it says that “Down Syndrome is the most common chromosomal abnormality babies can be born with.” Hmmmm. So if babies developing in the womb with Down Syndrome do not miscarry, maybe they are meant to be born and they are not Biological Errors, problems or abnormal!

I borrowed a medical text book about pregnancy and birth from a friend of mine who is a nurse. Paging through this book that weighs about 12 pounds, I came across a section called “Medical Risks”. It was specifically under a section for mothers over 35. It reads, “The risk of conceiving a child with Down syndrome increases with age”. It went on to talk about the prescreenings for Down syndrome and again states, “increased risk of having a baby with Down syndrome.

So all our medical professionals are taught that having a Down syndrome is a risk, a problem, an error, and abnormal. How do you think the common lay person gets told by these professionals that their child has Down syndrome? In most cases, they are told something like this, “Sorry, to tell you…your baby has Down Syndrome.” And parents begin believing that it is a bad thing.

When we went for our first prenatal visit, the message was clear that having a child with abnormalities was not a good thing. The nurse went through a very extensive family medical history with the majority of the questions asking about these “chromosomal/birth defects”. Is there a history of Down syndrome, mental disabilities, Autism, or other birth defects? We were informed of the many prescreenings we could have to test for these defects and were asked if we wanted to have them. I turned to my husband with a huge smile and said, “Well, if we found out our baby has Down syndrome we could start celebrating early!” Curious to know the response of the nurse, I asked her what benefits these tests have. I asked her if the results of the test gave any help to the delivery and its safety. She said the findings of these tests tell us about Down syndrome and other birth defects, which really doesn’t affect the delivery process. However, the information helps parents decide if they want to terminate the pregnancy. I was appalled! I turned to my husband and said, “The only reason we would terminate the pregnancy is if the baby’s heart stopped beating.”

Many parents struggle tremendously when they are given news about a baby with a “defect”. I have friends that had a boy with Down syndrome and the initial response from most everybody was, “I’m sorry.” I was one of the only ones who excitedly cheered for them. I have other friends who also had a boy with Down syndrome and they were given a sympathy card by someone.

How could these situations be turned around simply by medical professionals being excited and delivering news in a good light? How much would it change if friends and family would be excited and not disappointed at such news? Think about how people with Down syndrome and other disabilities would feel about themselves if they weren’t told they were “errors”, “defects”, “ abnormal”, “problems”, and at some point in their life worth considered being terminated? No, they may have never been verbally told these things by someone directly, but that is the message they get through our attitudes, our actions, our thoughts, our lack of joy for them. And it all starts in the womb……